Dear parent navigating a pregnancy after a NICU stay,
If you have been through the NICU, you may wonder what another pregnancy might be like. Some of us feel like we absolutely cannot imagine going through a pregnancy post-NICU. Some of us want another child but are scared of having another NICU experience. Some of us feel that we are in a good place and are ready and excited for another pregnancy. However you are feeling is valid.
It’s okay to be both excited and scared. It’s normal to feel both concerned and hopeful. You have been changed by your NICU experience. You know things and you’ve felt things that only someone who has been through it can understand. I encourage you to have open conversations with your partner and to seek out peer support or counseling if you need more support during this time.
When I decided I was ready for a second child, I felt mentally ready. I acknowledged that there may be certain triggers to my anxiety, but I made a conscious effort to not be consumed by the fear of my past experiences. This was not always easy but I reminded myself that this was a new pregnancy. I went to all of my OB appointments and I met with the High Risk Doctors to determine anything that I might need or want to do differently for this pregnancy. The additional appointments were affirming for me — I was doing all that I could for my baby and myself, and I had a clinical team assuring me along the way.
“Our bodies are not flawed, but are in fact doing what they need to do at the time.”
Every parents’ experience will be their own. For me personally, listening to my body meant I was able to delay birth at 31 weeks by going on bedrest. Tending to my mental health allowed me to come to a place where I told my husband, at 36 weeks exactly, that “if she comes now, I think I’ll be okay.” Hours after uttering that phrase my water broke. To this day I look back at how important that acknowledgement was to my birthing experience.
“This is a new pregnancy and each pregnancy is unique.”
Having a second child is a big decision, especially if your first pregnancy or birth did not go the way you expected. You’re bound to feel a lot of things, and I encourage you to allow yourself the space to hold multiple emotions at once. You have learned and grown so much from your experiences. Have grace with yourself, have hope in your new journey, and throughout it all know that you are not alone.
Sincerely,
A Mom Who Has Been There
