It’s hard to believe that in just over a week our little boy will be one. Time has gone by so quickly, but the memory of his birthday will always remain so clear, the worst day of our life!
After trying for a baby for over two years, having tests that confirmed our chances of conceiving were slim and being unable to afford IVF, we had just started to accept the fact that we were not going to have a baby. Then by some miracle I fell pregnant, it was the best news ever. My pregnancy went fine, severe morning sickness, but having already had a son (now 15) I had been through this already and dealt with it.
A day overdue and I was out for lunch with my mum and sister, all was well. We were laughing and joking about my waters breaking in the restaurant but still no sign. The next part of my story sounds a little silly it but explains why I knew something was very wrong! Every night when my husband returned home from work he would have a little chat with the bump, who would always without fail respond with a kick. On this particular evening for the first time there was no response, immediately we started to worry so phoned the midwife and was advised to go to hospital just to be on the safe side.
More and more we felt concerned about no movement, the drive to the hospital seemed to take ages. Once there I was hooked up to a machine so they could check for a heartbeat, it was a massive relief when we heard one, and then as if playing a game all along I felt movement. We were left in the room while the machine continued to monitor. It felt like everything was okay, heartbeat, movement, midwife had left us, I just thought we were going to be sent home, I couldn’t have been more wrong!
Suddenly the midwife rushed into the room with a doctor and before we knew what was going on they were throwing my shoes at my husband and wheeling the bed out of the room! I remember screaming for Steve but they were holding him back and wouldn’t let him go with me. I was taken into theatre and advised that I was being put to sleep for and emergency cesarean, all I remember is crying until I fell asleep.
As I started to come too I remember hearing a doctor telling Steve that our baby was stillborn, I must have drifted back to sleep. When I woke the next time I was in a private room, I thought our baby had died.
Charlie Edward was born on the 18th April 2012 by emergency cesarean due to a drop in his heart beat. He was stillborn, resuscitated after 13 minutes. Charlie suffered massive brain damage and as a result has severe cerebral palsy, visual, hearing impairments and epilepsy. But most importantly he is alive and one year on loving life, proving that he really is our miracle baby.
