My Journey as a Three-Time NICU Mom

July 23, 2024

Diana and her husband in the NICU with their first NICU baby, now a teenager.

When I share my story with new NICU parents, they are often astonished that all three of my children were in the NICU and that I made it through those challenging times. They may think I’m stronger than I am. Honestly, each time I got pregnant, I didn’t believe my baby would end up in the NICU. Each time, I was surprised. I’ve always believed there is a silver lining, but when it came to the health of my babies, it was hard to see one.

My oldest daughter is now a teenager, but I still remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. My pregnancy was full-term and relatively normal. However, during labor, the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck, affecting her breathing. She didn’t make a sound when she was born, and I couldn’t hold her. I was overwhelmed with fear and worry, unprepared for the NICU experience. She spent almost three weeks in the NICU. Leaving the hospital without her was devastating, but after several consultations, we were assured she wouldn’t have any long-term effects. The NICU stay changed our lives, but I never thought we would go through it again.

Diana and her second NICU baby

For a while, my husband and I didn’t plan on having more children due to a massive fibroid that required surgery. In 2019, I had a myomectomy, and the doctors assured me I could still have children, though it would require a c-section. During the pandemic, I became pregnant again at 40, which made me high-risk. The isolation of the pandemic made the experience even harder. Despite a smooth pregnancy, my second daughter had low glucose levels at birth and needed to stay in the NICU. We were distraught and unprepared, facing the NICU once again for a different reason.

Six months later, I became pregnant with our third daughter. At four months, an ultrasound revealed a cyst in her abdominal area, indicating she would need to stay in the NICU. After she was born, she had to be transported to another hospital for surgery.

Juggling a newborn in the hospital, a toddler at home, and a teenager was incredibly stressful, but now I am able to look back and know that I made it through all of that. My NICU journeys were tough, but my support system helped me through it.

Throughout these three NICU experiences, I’ve learned some valuable lessons:

Diana and her third NICU baby.

Build a Support System Lean on family and friends when you can. Having people to talk to and share your worries with can make a significant difference. Hand to Hold’s support resources are built around the notion of talking to someone who’s been there. Find support groups, peer mentors, and more.
Focus on Progress No matter how small the progress, focus on it. Keeping a gratitude journal helped me maintain a hopeful outlook.
Advocate for Your Baby Don’t be afraid to ask questions and seek second opinions. Trust your instincts and ensure you understand your baby’s medical care.
Take Care of Yourself Your baby needs you to be strong. Prioritize self-care, rest when you can, and seek support for your mental health if needed.
Stay Informed: Educate yourself about the NICU process and your baby’s condition. Knowledge can empower you and reduce fear.

Being a NICU parent is a journey filled with unexpected challenges, but with support, hope, and advocacy, you can navigate through it. You are stronger than you think.

About Diana

Diana serves our families as a Virtual Family Support Specialist, responsible for supporting NICU families virtually either in one-on-one or in group settings, all with a goal to reduce the negative impact of a NICU stay and ensure the best outcome for the entire family. Diana currently hosts our Virtual Support Groups for current and graduate NICU parents, our group for Black NICU parents, and our group for Spanish-speaking NICU parents. To find a group, visit our support group calendar.

Diana understands how isolating and fearful having a baby in the NICU is. She wishes that a program like Hand to Hold would have supported her during her NICU experiences. She wants to be able to hold space for NICU parents (in English & Spanish) and help them navigate through this experience. Diana has more than eight years of experience assisting parents in need of support and encouragement through different non-profit organizations. She is a certified children’s yoga instructor, in which she taught toddlers self regulating tools through play. Diana is a mindfulness researcher and enthusiast, helping parents, and herself, find healthy ways to cope with the challenges this journey can bring.