Having a baby in the NICU is difficult. More so when you also have other children at home.
There is no way to protect your older children from the situation completely, but there are ways to help them navigate this unpredictable and uncertain time.
• First step: Ask if siblings are allowed to visit in the NICU. Many hospitals age age restrictions or specific visiting times. Keep in mind, it never hurts to ask.
• Ask what resources the hospital has available. Check with a social worker or NICU staff to see if your hospital has sibling activity days, busy bags, or a lending library. All of these things can be useful for helping your child feel included, and to help when they need to be entertained.
• Keep the visits short. Different children have different attention spans and tolerances. Be prepared for the visit to only last a few minutes before little ones are ready to move on.
• Stay connected. Set aside time to spend some one-on-one time with your older children. Even something simple like craft time at home or a trip to the park.
• Take time to listen. Kids will talk when given the space. They may want to talk about how they are feeling, or they may just want to tell you about their favorite show.
• Read with them. Help explain the situation by buying or borrowing age-appropriate books on the subject. Visit our list of children’s books about prematurity and the NICU.
• Find a special lovey. Your older children can also pick out a special lovey for the baby.
• Get them involved. Let them make keepsakes for the baby. Drawings, notes, or small crafts are all great ideas to keep kids entertained and involved. Have them record a special message you can play for the baby in the NICU.
• Keep childcare providers up to date. If your children are in school or daycare, make sure their teachers are kept in the loop. It is helpful for them to know what is going on, so they can help you help your child. Make a connection with your school counselor as well.