When you have a preemie and are staying in the NICU, one of the first things they talk to you about is breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is something that I was not interested in; I had planned on formula feeding and was okay with that.
After having the girls and realizing that breastfeeding was the best way to go and getting all the information about how it is best, especially for preemies, I was 100% on board.
I was given a breast pump and told to start right away. When you are pumping every emotion is going through you. I hardly got any milk and started to get mad at myself and wonder what I was doing wrong. I wanted to give my girls the best I possibly could and wasn’t sure what to do to get my milk flowing more. I was truly struggling with breastfeeding, and after a few weeks I decided that I had to stop. I wasn’t even producing an ounce out of either breast and was frustrated beyond belief. I was told by the doctors and nurses that it was common being as breastfeeding comes easier with the child by your breast and when you can’t hold either one of your children things are bound to not go as planned.
After a month I gave up on breastfeeding because even with whatever I was producing it was being mixed with formula so I figured it was ok to just switch. I was devastated because I wanted to do this for my girls and it was something I couldn’t do.
After going through all of this the one thing I got from it was to stay positive and that there is always an alternative. Although I couldn’t breastfeed there was always the option of formula which I was okay with. I am glad that there was another option to keep my girls thriving. So stay positive and know that there is always an alternative and way to get through all these tough times!