Our little miracle Evan Ross was born February 20th 2013 exactly six weeks early – he weighed 3#14oz and was 17″long. We lived in the Nicu for 17 of the longest days of my life.
I wasn’t supposed to be able to have children so when I did get pregnant later in life I didn’t really believe it for some time. After being late last August I took a pregnancy test and it was positive – I couldn’t really get excited I thought it was wrong but made a doctors appt anyway. She saw me two days later and concluded it was a chemical pregnancy and that any day now I would miscarry and start my period. If it didn’t start in a few days I was to take a pill to help the process…it didn’t start but by then I wanted to think i was pregnant so I didn’t take the pill and I made another appt. she did an ultrasound and I saw my little peanut for the first time!
I was a nervous wreck being pregnant I was so scared of anything happening I took every precaution . Pregnancy was pretty uneventful until my 33rd week when I was put on bed rest suddenly for pre-eclampsia. Five days into bed rest I got a headache that wouldn’t go away so I went to my ob to get checked. They sent us to the hospital to get monitored – the nurses there kept saying we would be sent home soon. I sent my husband to the lobby to let our mothers know all was ok and they could go home.
In the short time he was gone I got a visit from my ob saying we need to deliver now and that if we start now she thinks it will be safe to get induced and have a vaginal delivery. Before his father even made it back to where I was the Nicu doctor was arriving to prepare me on what could happen. I was freaking out and in shock this was not how I thought the day would end.
They moved us to labor and delivery and after 25 hours of labor he arrived – one push and he came flying out! He never made a sound – the first two minutes I just held my breath and looked to the other side of the room where he was rushed to and surrounded by doctors. They finally brought him too me to hold (only about 30 seconds) I told him hello and he opened one eye and peeked at me before he was whisked away.
Due to the magnesium meds I was not allowed to see him for 24 hours and it was torture. The minute it was time I was on my way to the Nicu and for the first trip of many had to be buzzed in and scrubbed up to get in. I finally got in his room and I guess I had thought I would scoop him up to hold him because when I realized all I could do was put my arms thru the incubator holes and hold his hands my heart broke all over again.
Later that night they let me hold him but the production of getting him and his cords out safely scared the crap out of me. I didn’t want to put him back in the incubator so the nurse said I could have five more min …in that time his temp dropped too much so I had to put him back in right away and he couldn’t come out anymore until he was better.
The first time I left the hospital was the hardest moment of my life – walking out without him broke my heart. On top of that as we were walking to the car I got a call that my step sister delivered a plump healthy baby girl that day – I was devastated and jealous and didn’t stop crying until I fell asleep later.
He was completely healthy just super small – the one hiccup he had was eating he would tire so fast so he ended up needing a feeding tube. I again was devastated it felt like such a setback – I barely left his side after that my mission was to try to get him to eat. Then one day about two weeks later he just started eating and we promptly graduated to the pediatric floor!
After 17 long days we finally we able to bring him home! Of course I rode in the back with him my eyes never left him – I was amazed.
Now he is almost five months old nearly 15 pounds – he is laughing and eating his fruits and veggys like a champ. He has changed my life – I did not really know happiness and love like this was possible. He is my angel, he is my dream that became my reality – anything is possible!!!!