UPDATED 6/22/2021
July is annually recognized as Bereaved Parents Awareness Month, a month dedicated to raising awareness of the support necessary when one endures the loss of a child. Over the years we have had the bittersweet pleasure to feature the heartfelt words of parents who have walked this path and shared their story so others will feel less alone. Here is a collection of those stories.
If you are a parent who has lost a baby, wherever you are in your grief, we want you to know that you are not alone. There is a community of families ready to support you, whether it is today, a month from today, or a year from today. Parents who have experienced a loss may request a peer mentor at any time for support from someone who has been there. For more information, visit our bereaved family support resources.
How to Support a Bereaved Parent. Bereaved parent and Hand to Hold Family Support Specialist Christine shares the most meaningful ways friends and family can support a parent after a loss.
Christine’s Story of Loss, Healing and Giving Back. Christine shares her personal story of loss and how giving back as a peer mentor and now a Hand to Hold Family Support Specialist has helped her heal.
NICU Parent Perspective: Acknowledging the Loss of a Multiple in the NICU. Bereaved parents in the Hand to Hold community were kind enough to share their stories with us of losing one or more children in a multiple birth – stories of loss, of grief, of healing, and of hope.
The Complex Emotions of Losing a Twin in the NICU. Guest blogger Ally Anderson shares her story of grief for the baby she lost and joy for the baby she still has.
Life After Loss: How to Start Your Grief Journey. Everyone’s grief journey is different. Guest blogger Brittany Clay shares how she was able to start healing after the loss of her son.
NICU Parent Perspective: We Have Hope in Whatever Lies Ahead. Nothing prepared Valerie for the surprise of being told she were having twins, or for the stress of experiencing complications at 22 weeks, or the pain of losing her precious baby A, Cristiano, just 22 minutes after his birth.
NICU Now Episode 13: Love and Loss in the NICU and Episode 15: Life Transformations After the NICU, Part 2.
A Letter to My Doctor. After losing her twins at just 23 weeks gestation, Melissa Vandermeer shares her raw and honest feelings on why self-advocacy is so important.
Kate’s Story of Loss. Author Kate Polley shares how the loss of one of her twins led her to a unique opportunity to give back to other parents who have lost a child.
Learning the Language of Grief: Telling a Twinless Twin About Their Twin. Kara Wahlin talks about the struggle to tell her son about his twin, who passed away shortly after birth.
Mourning a Loss That Doesn’t Quite Have a Name: Grief and Loss in the NICU. Kara Wahlin discusses how grief can play a part of our day to day lives.
Living with Grief: My Story of Infant Loss. Stacey Skrysak shares her difficult experience of losing two of her triplets in the NICU.
Honest Grief: From Being Strong To Being Real. Kierra Sorrells shares how trying to be strong may do more harm than good after the loss of a child.
10 Life Lessons I Learned After Experiencing Life’s Greatest Joy and Most Devastating Challenge. Charles George shares what he’s learned in the years since his son’s death from congenital heart disease.
National and International Resources for Bereaved Families
LISTEN NOW: NICU LOVE AND LOSS, A PODCAST FOR BEREAVED PARENTS.
Each episode features bereaved parents sharing their stories and discussing the many stages of grief, letting other parents know they are not alone.
As a parent who lost my only child, Nick 8 years ago, at the age of 28, I find this a bit hurtful. I truly commend your efforts to help parents who’ve lost an infant child but, ask you don’t forget about the MANY who lost children if all ages.
The first paragraph here indicates you try to help all of us. We all have stories to tell. I share mine as often as I can because it is a story of love, loss, forgiveness and peace.
To all grieving parents out there, I wish you peace.
Hi Nancy,
Please accept our sincere condolences for the loss of your son, Nick. You absolutely deserve to share your story as often as you can and keep Nick’s memory alive. Wishing you peace as well. 💚
I just lost the most precious and valuable gift God has ever given me. My son was also 28 and passed away in an accident over the 4th of July holiday. I truly don’t know how this pain and emptiness will ever end. I try to view it as a dream and then reality hits and it’s like someone has opened up your stomach and heart. The words of others are inadequate and I don’t want to hear them. They tell me he’s in a better place or they know how I feel. He is not in a better place because his place is with me and no one can know how it feels unless they have lost a child. I experience anger when I look around and see people who don’t appreciate but they have and I wonder why God selected my beloved son who my cherished and protected the 28 years. I question my faith, I am riddled with guilt, and the grief and pain is encompassing me.
I do know how you feel because my 34 year old son died 5 weeks ago. We are still waiting for the autopsy results thinking this may give us some peace of mind. Was it an aneurysm, heart attack, stroke drug overdose? We don’t know. His brother found him slumped over on the toilet but he was already gone. No evidence of drugs. Your feelings are the same as mine. I want him back. He had his whole life ahead of him. He seemed to be on the right track and he talked about having a family one day.
Why????
“D”,
Please except my heartfelt sympathy for the loss of your son. May I ask his name? The pain, grief, anger…….you feel is real and it is normal. The love we feel for our son’s is so great, how can the grief not be? We will never be the same. It’s OK to be angry with God. He knows the pain you feel. He had to watch his son tortured and murdered. He is also loving and patient, and will always be there waiting, when you are ready to come back to him. I felt the same way. It took quite a awhile for me to accept His decision to take back my Nick. But, I thank him EVERYDAY for allowing me to be Nicks mother for 28 wonderful years!
Take one day at a time. One minute at a time. One breathe at a time. Give time, time. Remember your son in all the joyful memories you think of. Physically smile when you do. Carry on his life through your own. Live it the way he would want you to. Cry. It is healing. ✌🏼🙏🏼
At least you got 28 years with him… You got to know him.. You have memories with him to look back on. Its not a who has more grief game. … Some people dont get that much time. Be grateful.
ouch…..you’re saying “at least” to a bereaved parent?
Hi, I have been working on a series of bronze sculptures as a requiem for parents, more specifically, for mothers, and the 13 mother’s i personally know, who have lost children. If it’s ok or appropriate, i have added a link to an online article and the images of the sculptures.
sincerely gary
https://www.poetsandartists.com/magazine/2018/7/7/breaktrhough-moment-gary-weisman
My daughter, age 14 was in an UTV vs Automobile accident on 28 Jan 2019. She was pronounced brain dead on 31 Jan 2019. Just 6 weeks before the accident she got her state ID. She chose without a moment’s hesitation to be an organ donor. Her father and I upheld her wishes. As of today she has given life and sight to so many.
The kids that were in the UTV with her live today and I am so thankful for them. The man who was driving the SUV that hit them, I have never meet. However, I know he has to be experiencing pain and anguish over the accident.
That was her death.
Her life,oh her life, is and was so much more than her death.
A honor roll student taking upper classmen courses. Planning to start college at 16. Registered CPR and AED card holder and instructor. A daughter. A sister. A friend. She stood up for the shy, the weak, the bullied. She inspires those around her to live! She continues to fill our lives with joy, laughter, happiness. Encourages us to live and love.
We are so sorry for your loss, Daniella. Thank you for sharing her with us. 💚